Yom Kippur, also known as the Day of Atonement, begins tonight. It is the day we focus on looking back on all the other days of the past year, recognizing what we’ve done wrong, and setting course for doing better.
We’ve all done things wrong this past year. Some of the things I’ve done wrong were the same as what you’ve done wrong. Some were different. We ask for forgiveness for what we’ve done personally, as well as what we’ve done collectively – including for things that we personally didn’t partake in. We ask forgiveness for what we’ve done knowingly, and for what we didn’t even realize we’d done.
That’s a pretty heavy load. Especially all on one day. While most people probably finish the day eager to eat again, it is possible to finish the day in deep remorse. I mean, just look at everything that’s wrong! Just look at everything that’s bad!
Or don’t.
I mean, do. But then stop.
It’s important to apologize for our wrongdoings when we do them – not only on Yom Kippur. But we have this day set aside once a year to look at how flawed we are, go deep into that space, and then move out of it. Most of us probably do that when it comes to “confessing our sins” our sins once a year, but do we do it when listening to our inner critic on the other days?
How many times has it happened not on Yom Kippur that you’ve beaten yourself up for making a bad choice? How many times have you kicked yourself for doing something wrong? How many times have you thought less of yourself because you didn’t live up to your own (possibly unrealistic) standards? And how many times have you remembered to pat yourself on the back for the things you’re doing right all the time?
There once was a grandfather walking with his grandson. He told the boy, “A fight is going on inside me. A fight between two wolves. One wolf is Bad. He is Anger, Arrogance, Pity, Resentment, Greed, Egocentricity, Lies, and Combat. You have this wolf inside of you, too. The other wolf is Good. He is Peace, Love, Laughter, Compassion, Kindness, Empathy, Hope, Generosity, Truth, and Connection. You have this wolf inside you, too.”
“Everyone has these wolves,” the grandfather went on. “the Good Wolf and the Bad Wolf, fighting inside each one of us.”
The little boy looked up at his grandfather, frightened, and eager to know the answer to his question, “Grandfather, which one will win?”
The grandfather smiled as he reassured the boy, “The one you feed.”
On Yom Kippur we shine the light on our inner Bad Wolf so we can be reminded not to feed it. But being reminded not to feed the Bad Wolf isn’t the same as being reminded to feed the Good Wolf.
If you’re marking Yom Kippur as a day of reflection, I wish you a meaningful day, followed by a year of feeding your Good Wolf.